My early years as a dancer.
I’ve always loved dancing. When I was little it was ballet (I was terrible), until I moved to England temporarily and went to what must have been quite a serious class, I now realise, and the teacher forced my foot to touch the top of my head. Come to think of it, THAT might be the source of all my back issues!
A very serious Susie being not very good at ballet. Had to crop the other children out innit.
After ballet it was contemporary dance, culminating in an incredible performance, aged about 12, with my sister, to an audience of OAPs (or so I thought, they were probably my sort of age!? Pah ha). We were electric - dancing our hearts out to “War of the Worlds”. Lol. It was all VERY dramatic. We still laugh about that now. But bless us for trying.
Over the years I’ve tried everything from tap to belly, to swing, and Latin and Ballroom. I got quite serious about Argentine Tango for a while (the most glorious of dances - I went to The London Tango Academy and I’d highly recommend them. The owners and ‘head teachers’, Leandro, and Maria, are the ones who have been choreographing the stunning Argentine Tango routines on the BBC’s “Strictly Come Dancing”).
The healing power of dance.
Speaking of Strictly, I was really reminded of the power of dance as I watched the Blackpool episode, below, and watched the tennis player, Annabel Croft, dancing with her professional partner, Johannes Radebe. Now, Annabel has lucked out, in terms of partner, because Johannes is just magic - he’s joy and love and care and talent and patience, I just can’t imagine anyone having him as their partner and not having an exceptional time. But, she’s also had a doozy of a year, losing her life partner to cancer in May, just a few months after his receiving his diagnosis. She spoke about it in her “Couple's Choice” dance the previous week - a dance that was so touching and emotive, but it was this one that ‘got me’.
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(Soz peeps, don’t know how to get rid of the code around the video! Oops).
I was thinking “gosh, it’s pretty full on to be doing this so soon after her husband has died - pretty high pressure” and then I thought “no, this is absolutely THE perfect thing for her to be doing”.
I think it was because there was a certain amount of skin showing in this dance - as a single adult I know one of the things that can be hard is that you are just never touched (unless you have young children), humans need touch I think. And here is Annabel, just a few months out of being thrust into a life alone (plus her children and friends, obvs) each week being held by this beautiful, beautiful human, Johannes. And there is no danger there, this isn’t sexual chemistry, this is friendship, and safety, and care. This is wonderful.
Is partner dancing a cure for loneliness?
I remember going to a tea dance at Shoreditch Town Hall, where the majority of people there were pensioners, and thinking the same, that everyone (everyone single/lonely at least) should take up dance - but the kinds of dance where you have to dance in hold. There is something so very special about it. I don’t mean a sleazy night down a salsa bar (though I’ve come to respect salsa and realise what an incredible dance it is, I personally have only experienced it as a slimy meat market kind of thing - which isn’t my vibe) but Ballroom and Latin (ballroom Latin) where the focus is very much the dance, the technique, feeling…the music though, not your partner!
When I did Argentine Tango I felt this so strongly, dancing in close hold with someone felt amazing - it was about a connection with your partner, a conversation between the two of you and the music. A beautiful closeness to another human being, a shared experience. It was also, incredibly mindful - I would come out of a class and realise that nothing had been in my head except the moment. And for Annabel, that must be such a gift - to have something to do, to be using her body, to be challenging her brain and all whilst being held and supported by someone she now says is a friend for life.
Could dance have saved me?
I’ve had getting back to Argentine Tango as a health goal, but I’ve not really committed to it. I think because to do it well it is actually quite tough on your body, all that dissociating (where you turn your torso whilst keeping your hips forward facing, or vice versa), and I always found my feet killed, even though I wasn’t in heels, because you do so much on the balls of your feet. But perhaps I should commit to it, or at least to getting out and doing something, perhaps the waltz - which I love. Maybe if I’d have been back dancing I’d have saved myself from an ill-judged mini dalliance with a much younger, and not altogether completely savoury (it turns out) man*. I’d certainly have felt much more joy, and nourishment.
Yes, I think I’m off to google tea dances.
Is anyone else a fan of dancing? Or Strictly? What do you think of my plan to prescribe dance to all the lonely people out there?
Let’s talk.
Update: Sadly, Annabel and Johannes got eliminated from the show on Sunday, but they made it to the semi-finals which, for a heartbroken, grieving, ex-tennis player with no acting or dancing experience is pretty bloody good.
*Interestingly, almost every woman I spoke to about whether to go out with the younger man said, “no way!!”, which was my take on it too for the longest while. And almost every man said “get in girl! Go for it!!” Or words to that effect. I’m working on listening to my intuition and hoping that I’ll start making fewer errors of judgement – my intuition knows where it’s at.