On being nosy
Or, the undeniable joy of finding things out...
London, 28th January 2023
(By the way, if you’ve subscribed to this as a free subscriber and it says you can’t read it, that you have to upgrade… that’s just me being greedy! No, seriously, that means I’ve made a mistake - I’m new to this and may have done it wrong!?).
I often hear myself saying to people, by way of an explanation I suppose, for whatever I’ve just asked, “I’m SO nosy!” which is swiftly followed by “well, no, interested. I’m just an interested person”. And here’s the thing, I am. I’m interested in everything! More or less. I’ve just gone through an initial attempt at an autism diagnosis (if you know me you may think that rather unlikely) and, I had wondered if my fascination with people was something to do with masking. I always want to know about people, how they are, who they are, what they do, what they think, what makes them tick, are they okay - where do they buy their clothes, what’s their favourite colour, how do they afford that!? Are they in debt too (though, if you don’t count the mortgage I’m not actually in debt anymore - woohoo, proud of myself), how come they’re so together/successful/grown up… and the list goes on. Am I alone in that? I’ve not yet met a person I don’t want to ask at least one question of, though of course I’ve met many of whom I haven’t asked any.
I started a website A middle-aged Londoner, with the intention of creating a place of information and a home of sorts for people like me - people who were in their forties upwards and who were not quite ready to throw in the towel, hell, I hadn’t even found the towel in my early forties, sort of still haven’t. It was for people who still wanted to be… themselves. The idea was that it would be by and for people in their middle-ages and out of it would spawn a print magazine. I had little money and even fewer contacts though and I was trying to do it all on my own - save a couple of wonderful contributors, one of whom wrote a regular piece for me. The more I tried to edit photos and get a good looking layout, the less I posted. I had such high hopes for that site (don’t get me wrong, I still do and I’m hoping that perhaps I’ll meet people via this here diary who would like to get involved) - I wanted it to become a destination, a real source of information, a community with an online home and in-person events, including my supper club. But I just, am not a photographer. Nor am I a graphic designer. Or a hustler, for that matter. And then, I heard about Substack, I started following Farrah Storr and the other day I went to a workshop of hers that pushed me from pondering my newsletter (in essence what this is) to getting on and starting. And so here we are, on a platform where I don’t feel the need to be the world’s best photographer, in fact, I feel good about not even using my own photos - liberated even. And all that I planned to do on my website, I plan to do here - via this diary.
What I’m wondering though is, is reading a diary the same if you know that the person writing it knows that you’re reading it? And, moreover, if they know that you know they know… if you see what I mean. Personally, I’m not a fan of diary reading without permission but still it’s different isn’t it, reading something someone wrote with no intention of sharing and reading something, however honest, that is made for sharing? I’m hoping that you’ll find it interesting, interesting enough to stick around, and to comment and join in with discussions and to become part of this community I’m building here.
I’ll be talking life, love (very, very tentatively pondering the idea of getting back in the dating game), careers, eating out and drinking, money - saving and investing… and spending, making things - shoes, clothes, art. I plan to share a few recipes with you, perhaps the odd book review, a bit of health and family, ideas and dreaming, just, whatever I’m thinking and doing on any given day. I’m a middle-aged Londoner and I invite you to join me in creating a beautiful community of dreamers and doers (dreamers who do) and just, interesting, generous, kind people. I’ll try to add value and entertain and I thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings. I have a motto “why use one word when five will do” but hopefully the more I write the more I’ll learn that less can, sometimes, be more.
Not sure yet how often I’ll be posting or what the format will be - it’s a learning curve and I’m so honoured to have you with me. At time of writing I have seven whole subscribers!!! Wooo hoooo. Thank you each and every one of you. Hmmm… actually, think I’m one of them. Still. Pah ha. Thank you.
What’s tickling my fancy right now
What I’m reading right now: The Beekeeper of Aleppo by Christy Lefteri and Oliva’s (my wonderful columnist over on A middle-aged Londoner) Substack Lark Rose Flowers all about seasonality in flower growing and floral displays with inspiration for how to create something when there are not blooms around, her site is well worth a look.
I’ve been listening to Madame Butterfly today and this, from Act II, in particular which led me down a YouTube rabbit hole of musicals and auditions for Britain’s Got Talent (bizarrely) which led onto a full on session of sitting room interpretive dancing. Rockin and rolling Saturday evening there Susie.
Not sure why but I REALLY love this video of the cast of the film Les Miserables rehearsing. I’m always surprised when actors can sing and this shows that this lot actually can. Plus, Eddie Redmayne, I love.
By the way, if you hadn’t realised, I think being nosy is good. It means you’re interested. It’s how we learn and grow. It’s a gift.
Until next time.
xx
Susie- I do wholeheartedly agree that nosy is just the perceived level of how close the curiosity is to the final uncovering. And whether or not the source of the information mind said uncovering. Thanks for this great read!